No Blogger Inside

I just can't write. Someone needs to borrow brain and creative stock.

It’s been many moons ago since I last typed my organized brain-farts here in my tiny web space. Perhaps, I was overwhelmed by several circumstances of life – fusion of calmness and obscurity (Haha!). I would rather think I ran out of good and messy views to tell – that producing a blog entry is difficult to pull off.

Days from now, my blog site will celebrate its first year existence in this communal thoughts-sharing-site, and in so far as this site progresses I’ve been mentioning many things – from simple social problems to the very core of my rational understanding on things (things that I would probably laugh about when I reach mid-life). My head is a mess as of this statement so pardon me if I really just can’t write.

Life is so beautiful that I can’t all justify it in sets of paragraphs and words. It seems that my thoughts and an opportunity to write are really miles apart.  

I often consider myself a blogger and I often (and most of the time) refuse to write. 

Tatlong Tanong

Tatlong tanong at talong sagot na patanong lang sa gabing ito. Tara, maglaro tayo.

Hindi ba nasasaktan ang alon kapag inihahampas niya ng malakas ang kanyang sarili sa dalampasigan?

Malamang masakit, kaso hindi ba iyon ang higit niyang silbi?

Hindi ba talaga pwedeng matukoy ninuman ang hangganan ng bahaghari?

Importante pa bang sagutin ang tanong na yan, kung lubos ka namang naliligayahan sa hatid nitong ganda at kulay?

Kumakanta nga ba ang mga ibon habang lumilipad o ito’y huni lamang ng kanilang kalungkutan?

Naging o nasubukan mo na bang maging isang ibon?

Painted On Blue

First flourished by affection and end with backlash of frustration.

Dean:     You know, just us. Just us.  We got a little girl, we have to think about.

Cindy:   I know. I am thinking about her.

                …

                I can’t do this anymore.

Dean:     Baby, you are just thinking about yourself, how about Frankie?

                You wanted her to grow up in a broken home?

                Is that what you want?

Cindy:  I am thinking about Frankie.

Dean:   You are thinking about Frankie?

                                               

Cindy:  I am thinking about Frankie.

Dean:   No, you are not.

             This is how you want her to grow up?

                                               

Cindy:  I don’t like her to grow up in home with parents treating each other like this.

Dean:     I’m sorry, sorry. I’m sorry.

Cindy:   I can’t do this anymore.

Dean:     I know, I know.

                …

I’m just fighting for my family.

                I don’t know what to do, tell me what to do.

                I don’t know what else to do, tell me what to do.

Cindy:   I don’t know what to do.

Dean:     Tell me how should I be.

Cindy:   I don’t know.

Dean:     Just tell me, I will do it.

                I’ll do it.

Cindy:   I don’t know what to say.

                I’m so sorry, I don’t know what else to do.

Dean:     I’ll do it, I’ll do it. Just tell me.

Cindy:   We’re not good together.

                We’re not good anymore.

                I don’t like how we treat each other.

Dean:     Don’t say that baby, please.

Cindy:   I can’t stop, you can’t stop.

                We can’t stop. I don’t know what else to do.

Dean:     I can stop.

Cindy:   You just got to give me some space.

Off to Happyland

Checking and scanning through my twitter timeline yesterday was such a heartbreaking activity as our three of our kababayan in China faced their final bow to the world. It felt like the country was out of good news yesterday. Opinions and prejudices coming from news items, TV personalities, celebrities and friends were all scattered in my TweetDeck column. As I have said, it was a ‘black’ day for the Philippines and we all should learn from this unfortunate circumstance.

This entry isn’t about my stand on country’s system of rules, instead it is about a realization again rooted from this shadowed scene – the value of life and its components. Now, admittedly, these are the moments that I am thinking so deeply as to how my life moves from one stone to another. If I am going to die today, can I gladly say to Papa God that I am his good son? Or did I touched any lives to make me qualify to His rooster of honourable angels? I still so remember that time when my friend mentioned about how she can make her life complete, happy and completely happy. She just said three cool verbs; PLANT a tree, WRITE a book and ADOPT a child. She still amazes me with that striking answer, it made me feel knockout.

My answer to the abovementioned questions could be placed somewhere between a confident yes and an oh-so-well-let’s-just-say yes. San Pedro, the guy who loves to check on our earthly history could probably look back on my flashback account to counter-check my claims. Here are my few recorded tiny accomplishments.  

Building shelter. Feeding souls.

Appreciating nature. Sharing wisdom.

Preserving resources. Teaching the future.

Today and to the succeeding days of my life I certainly promised to live evenly more happy and complete. I will look at every circumstance a full glass of water. I will put more actions to my goals and will work hand-in-hand with my heart. And wow, this blog entry makes my life more exciting to live. Haha!

Lesson learned: Find good news in every sad news.  

Why Do Cupcakes Fly?

Passive, emotionless and reserved type - that was him for me, before.

He handpicked love to be the center of his life, assuming that this might lead him to a certain extreme of happiness. He chose her to be his symbol of love, collective moments with her is an everyday celebration and communion of souls. He assumed that there were endless red hearts that continuously popping-up whenever their eyes meet. Stars and skies were the only witnesses of how romantic their love was.

Okay, so you now got an idea that their love story had finally ended. One should thank me for putting emphasis on my verbs. It is needless to explain further how or why it ended for I am not narrating a fairytale nor giving anyone a celebrity-couple scoop.

On a serious note, all these ain’t going to happen if it wasn’t love that made this boy less passive, overly-emotional and arguably expressive (Oh good lord! you should have heard him talking figuratively). You are right girl when you said that love is magic, that love can make you turn more than 360 degrees. It is always safe to say that love can also be a sole reason why cupcakes do fly. My hands should all go down to all those who experienced and will be experiencing love on its fullest, including you my friend.

You have come a very long way to be in that phase, you earned it and you obviously deserve more. Don’t worry, stars and skies can still be your very good best buddies – swear to the roman god of cupcakes, they will shut their heavenly mouths about your secrets.

I actually don’t know how to end this note (avoiding the danger to be called love doctor or some sort), but let me just say one more thing. When you think love put you on ground and you felt like the world is seemingly hopeless, just stay there for quite awhile and try to shift your perspective and say ‘oh, this ain’t bad, the world is perfectly in good angle’.  

Till I hear your heart beating again. 

Wanderlust

There is always a unique way to twist one’s life. He obviously managed to play the tricky know-hows. He also knows how to humiliate me deep down my bones. There was actually an instance where I am about to throw and raise my middle finger to express my resentment on some recurrent situation luckily I didn’t do it instead raised my index and point it outward saying ‘kasalanan mo ‘to, tatapusin ko’.

It has been a fusion of thrill and gladness in my case.

Lesson learned. Experience earned.

The first half of the year was an abduction scene with this concrete sadness that pushed me to do nothing but to strengthen my faith towards the ‘plan’. I wasn’t so sure though if I’m acting the way I intended it to be or acting the way I projected myself – yes, those are quite different. The thing is, it’s said to be the ‘plan’ - that no matter how you draw your blueprint in your palm it will always be there to embrace you.

Soon enough, when I suddenly realized that growing side-by-side with learning is way exciting than walking from Gate 2 to Xavier and to Bellarmine. Hoping that at the end of the day happiness will greet me as some sort of consolation. I’m giving everything a chance even if it means dealing with problematic and traditional societies.  

Tik-tok-tik-tok! Tadaaaan!

Okay, it’s the 9^th of March and technically I should be celebrating my twenty two years of hoody-badass existence. Any birthday wish? Hmmm… Peace for the world, happiness to all mankind and a coke zero in-can for me – enough to justify this remarkable day.

Praise and celebrate your life. Live everyday like it’s your birthday. Cheers to a joyous birthday! 

Lapis at Sining

Habang hinahanapan ko ng silbi ang sarili ko sa loob ng opisina, naisipan kong kumuha ng lapis at gamit na papel at muling pinagana ang malilikot na imahinasyon at kamay.

Narito ang tatlo sa kanila.

(Click on the image to see original size)

Mula sa taas. 1. Poochoo; 2. Fleur; 3. Dancing Fantoccini  

 May mga susunod pang obra. Hintay lang. 

Hindi ako yung tipo ng empleyado na mamamatay sa ngalan ng "paghahanap-buhay". May buhay sa likod ng opisina, naniniwala ako.  Hangga't may oras pa may mga sining pa akong nais ibahagi sa inyo.  

Akin ang oras na ito.