No Blogger Inside

I just can't write. Someone needs to borrow brain and creative stock.

It’s been many moons ago since I last typed my organized brain-farts here in my tiny web space. Perhaps, I was overwhelmed by several circumstances of life – fusion of calmness and obscurity (Haha!). I would rather think I ran out of good and messy views to tell – that producing a blog entry is difficult to pull off.

Days from now, my blog site will celebrate its first year existence in this communal thoughts-sharing-site, and in so far as this site progresses I’ve been mentioning many things – from simple social problems to the very core of my rational understanding on things (things that I would probably laugh about when I reach mid-life). My head is a mess as of this statement so pardon me if I really just can’t write.

Life is so beautiful that I can’t all justify it in sets of paragraphs and words. It seems that my thoughts and an opportunity to write are really miles apart.  

I often consider myself a blogger and I often (and most of the time) refuse to write. 

Tatlong Tanong

Tatlong tanong at talong sagot na patanong lang sa gabing ito. Tara, maglaro tayo.

Hindi ba nasasaktan ang alon kapag inihahampas niya ng malakas ang kanyang sarili sa dalampasigan?

Malamang masakit, kaso hindi ba iyon ang higit niyang silbi?

Hindi ba talaga pwedeng matukoy ninuman ang hangganan ng bahaghari?

Importante pa bang sagutin ang tanong na yan, kung lubos ka namang naliligayahan sa hatid nitong ganda at kulay?

Kumakanta nga ba ang mga ibon habang lumilipad o ito’y huni lamang ng kanilang kalungkutan?

Naging o nasubukan mo na bang maging isang ibon?

Painted On Blue

First flourished by affection and end with backlash of frustration.

Dean:     You know, just us. Just us.  We got a little girl, we have to think about.

Cindy:   I know. I am thinking about her.

                …

                I can’t do this anymore.

Dean:     Baby, you are just thinking about yourself, how about Frankie?

                You wanted her to grow up in a broken home?

                Is that what you want?

Cindy:  I am thinking about Frankie.

Dean:   You are thinking about Frankie?

                                               

Cindy:  I am thinking about Frankie.

Dean:   No, you are not.

             This is how you want her to grow up?

                                               

Cindy:  I don’t like her to grow up in home with parents treating each other like this.

Dean:     I’m sorry, sorry. I’m sorry.

Cindy:   I can’t do this anymore.

Dean:     I know, I know.

                …

I’m just fighting for my family.

                I don’t know what to do, tell me what to do.

                I don’t know what else to do, tell me what to do.

Cindy:   I don’t know what to do.

Dean:     Tell me how should I be.

Cindy:   I don’t know.

Dean:     Just tell me, I will do it.

                I’ll do it.

Cindy:   I don’t know what to say.

                I’m so sorry, I don’t know what else to do.

Dean:     I’ll do it, I’ll do it. Just tell me.

Cindy:   We’re not good together.

                We’re not good anymore.

                I don’t like how we treat each other.

Dean:     Don’t say that baby, please.

Cindy:   I can’t stop, you can’t stop.

                We can’t stop. I don’t know what else to do.

Dean:     I can stop.

Cindy:   You just got to give me some space.

Off to Happyland

Checking and scanning through my twitter timeline yesterday was such a heartbreaking activity as our three of our kababayan in China faced their final bow to the world. It felt like the country was out of good news yesterday. Opinions and prejudices coming from news items, TV personalities, celebrities and friends were all scattered in my TweetDeck column. As I have said, it was a ‘black’ day for the Philippines and we all should learn from this unfortunate circumstance.

This entry isn’t about my stand on country’s system of rules, instead it is about a realization again rooted from this shadowed scene – the value of life and its components. Now, admittedly, these are the moments that I am thinking so deeply as to how my life moves from one stone to another. If I am going to die today, can I gladly say to Papa God that I am his good son? Or did I touched any lives to make me qualify to His rooster of honourable angels? I still so remember that time when my friend mentioned about how she can make her life complete, happy and completely happy. She just said three cool verbs; PLANT a tree, WRITE a book and ADOPT a child. She still amazes me with that striking answer, it made me feel knockout.

My answer to the abovementioned questions could be placed somewhere between a confident yes and an oh-so-well-let’s-just-say yes. San Pedro, the guy who loves to check on our earthly history could probably look back on my flashback account to counter-check my claims. Here are my few recorded tiny accomplishments.  

Building shelter. Feeding souls.

Appreciating nature. Sharing wisdom.

Preserving resources. Teaching the future.

Today and to the succeeding days of my life I certainly promised to live evenly more happy and complete. I will look at every circumstance a full glass of water. I will put more actions to my goals and will work hand-in-hand with my heart. And wow, this blog entry makes my life more exciting to live. Haha!

Lesson learned: Find good news in every sad news.  

Why Do Cupcakes Fly?

Passive, emotionless and reserved type - that was him for me, before.

He handpicked love to be the center of his life, assuming that this might lead him to a certain extreme of happiness. He chose her to be his symbol of love, collective moments with her is an everyday celebration and communion of souls. He assumed that there were endless red hearts that continuously popping-up whenever their eyes meet. Stars and skies were the only witnesses of how romantic their love was.

Okay, so you now got an idea that their love story had finally ended. One should thank me for putting emphasis on my verbs. It is needless to explain further how or why it ended for I am not narrating a fairytale nor giving anyone a celebrity-couple scoop.

On a serious note, all these ain’t going to happen if it wasn’t love that made this boy less passive, overly-emotional and arguably expressive (Oh good lord! you should have heard him talking figuratively). You are right girl when you said that love is magic, that love can make you turn more than 360 degrees. It is always safe to say that love can also be a sole reason why cupcakes do fly. My hands should all go down to all those who experienced and will be experiencing love on its fullest, including you my friend.

You have come a very long way to be in that phase, you earned it and you obviously deserve more. Don’t worry, stars and skies can still be your very good best buddies – swear to the roman god of cupcakes, they will shut their heavenly mouths about your secrets.

I actually don’t know how to end this note (avoiding the danger to be called love doctor or some sort), but let me just say one more thing. When you think love put you on ground and you felt like the world is seemingly hopeless, just stay there for quite awhile and try to shift your perspective and say ‘oh, this ain’t bad, the world is perfectly in good angle’.  

Till I hear your heart beating again. 

Wanderlust

There is always a unique way to twist one’s life. He obviously managed to play the tricky know-hows. He also knows how to humiliate me deep down my bones. There was actually an instance where I am about to throw and raise my middle finger to express my resentment on some recurrent situation luckily I didn’t do it instead raised my index and point it outward saying ‘kasalanan mo ‘to, tatapusin ko’.

It has been a fusion of thrill and gladness in my case.

Lesson learned. Experience earned.

The first half of the year was an abduction scene with this concrete sadness that pushed me to do nothing but to strengthen my faith towards the ‘plan’. I wasn’t so sure though if I’m acting the way I intended it to be or acting the way I projected myself – yes, those are quite different. The thing is, it’s said to be the ‘plan’ - that no matter how you draw your blueprint in your palm it will always be there to embrace you.

Soon enough, when I suddenly realized that growing side-by-side with learning is way exciting than walking from Gate 2 to Xavier and to Bellarmine. Hoping that at the end of the day happiness will greet me as some sort of consolation. I’m giving everything a chance even if it means dealing with problematic and traditional societies.  

Tik-tok-tik-tok! Tadaaaan!

Okay, it’s the 9^th of March and technically I should be celebrating my twenty two years of hoody-badass existence. Any birthday wish? Hmmm… Peace for the world, happiness to all mankind and a coke zero in-can for me – enough to justify this remarkable day.

Praise and celebrate your life. Live everyday like it’s your birthday. Cheers to a joyous birthday! 

Lapis at Sining

Habang hinahanapan ko ng silbi ang sarili ko sa loob ng opisina, naisipan kong kumuha ng lapis at gamit na papel at muling pinagana ang malilikot na imahinasyon at kamay.

Narito ang tatlo sa kanila.

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Mula sa taas. 1. Poochoo; 2. Fleur; 3. Dancing Fantoccini  

 May mga susunod pang obra. Hintay lang. 

Hindi ako yung tipo ng empleyado na mamamatay sa ngalan ng "paghahanap-buhay". May buhay sa likod ng opisina, naniniwala ako.  Hangga't may oras pa may mga sining pa akong nais ibahagi sa inyo.  

Akin ang oras na ito. 

Biyaheng Recto

Ang tagpo.

Maitim na ang kalangitan at mausok pa sa buong kapaligiran.

Maraming nagmamadaling paa ang pakalat-kalat sa kung saan saan.

Isang nilalang sa isang napakahaba’t modernong sasakyan.

Isang kaluluwa na namang naliligaw, pansamantala’t lilisan.

Isang espesyal na araw sa kabilang banda.

Isang napakalungkot na alaala sa nawawalang binata.

Utang na loob kapalaran, bakit mo ginugulo si katahimikan.

Patuloy lang ang pagkalabit ni nakalipas sa masayang si kasalukuyan.

Ang kapangyarihan.

Sinasabi ko sa’yo, tumayo ka at mag-isip.

Pag-isipan ang alin?

Hayaang palutangin ka ng iyong iniisip.

Palutangin? Papaano?

Ang kaibigan.

May nakilala akong kaibigan.

Kagandahan at talino niya ako’y biglang pinasikatan.

Marami na daw siyang napagdaanan at napatunayan.

Sayang lang dahil sa imahinasyon ko siya nanunuluyan.

Buhay nga naman.

Pabagu-bago. Pabugsu-bugso. 

Larawan mula sa Manila Manila

Ang Tamis!

Kung sa tingin ninyo sa telebisyon, mga libro at sa mga pelikula lang makikita ang mga kinakikiligan ninyong karakter o love-team, aba’y kulang pa ang inyong nasasaksihan. Naririto ang dalawang tambalan na marahil inyo na ring madalas napapansin.

(Click on the image to see original size)

TheRemarkable love team.

TheYummiest love team.

Kay sarap nga namang umibig, kahit ang mga walang buhay nabibigyan ng kulay dahil sa pag-ibig. Tamis!

Binibini

Binibining-alam-mo-na-kung-sino-ka,

Mapayapang araw!

Kung tatanungin mo ako kung kamusta ako, wala pa siguro akong matinong isasagot diyan. Hindi sapat ang ‘okay lang’ o ‘sakto lang’ na sagot. Marami pa kasi akong kailangang patunayan sa buhay, kailangang maunawaan at matutunan. Pero noong dumating kang muli sa buhay ko nabigyan ulit ako ng ilang dosenang lakas ng loob na lumaban, umasa at tumayo para titigan ng harap-harapan ang mukha ng aking pangarap.

Sa kanta ko madalas nakikita ang sarili ko. Bawat kanta sumisimbolo sa iba’t ibang eksena; isang batang lalaking naglalaro sa ilalim ng ulan, binatang tumatakbo’t hinahabol ang papalayong sasakyan at isang nilalang na muling umiibig at umaasang hindi na masasaktan.  Muli na namang lumawak ang espasyo sa aking isipan at imahinasyon habang pinakikinggan ang iba’t ibang saliw ng musika. Balang araw masasayaw din kita sa ilalim ng napakagandang himig, balang araw.

Madalas ko naiisip kong ako nga ba ang kaluluwang hinubog para sa’yo, pero ayaw ko magsalita ng tapos, kaya hangga’t maaari aangkinin ko ang segundo, minuto, oras at mga araw para sabihin sa langit na sana ito na at ito na rin ang huli.

Minsan at madalas ko ng nakikita ang sarili kong nakatingala at nagpapasalamat.

Wala na akong hihilingin pang iba sa Kanya bukod sa pagnanais kong pareho tayong bigyan ng rason araw-araw na mahalin ang isa’t-isa. Hindi ko na kailangang sabihin na mahal kita, oooh pakshet! nasabi ko na. 

Oh ayan maligayang araw ng mga puso.

Dito lang para sa’yo,

Ako.

Puso at Musika

Sa pagkakataon na kinakanta nila ang bawat himig ng kanilang musika, hindi talaga maalis sa isip kong magtaka kung ano ang umiikot sa kanilang ulo habang hawak ang kanilang mga mikropono sa harap ng libu-libong pumapalakpak na tao.

Maaaring hinuhugot ni Bruno Mars ang inspirasyon mula sa kanyang pinaghalu-halong karanasan, habang tinitipa ang tiklado ng kanyang itim na piyano. Naniniwala kasi akong may malalim na kahulugan ang kanyang kantang Talking To The Moon at Grenade na taliwas sa sapilitang pag-angkin ni Mya na para daw sa kanya ang naunang kanta.

Kung saan nanggagaling ang pilyo’t makabuluhang liriko ng APO? Siguro sa minsan din nilang pagkadismaya sa realidad ng bansa, o sa kanilang pamilya, o hindi kaya sa bawat pagsubok na pinagdaanan ng kanilang grupo. Blue Jeans, Awit ng Kabataan, Nakapagtataka, at marami pang iba ay mga testamento lang marahil na minsan din silang nasaktan, lumigaya, at mas lumigaya.

Pero bakit nga ba naluha si Juris ng ASAP Sessionistas habang kinanta ang Forevermore sa kanilang nakaraang konsyerto? May problem ba siya sa pag-ibig? Yikes! Wala naman akong balak alamin ang buhay-pag-ibig niya, humanga lang ako sa tatag ng damdamin niya na tapusin ang kanta sa kabila ng mala-gripong pagbuhos ng luha niya. Sabi nga niya “Yehey, natawid ko!” habang ngumi-ngiting parang bata. Kaya kapalit ng damang-damang pagkanta, pinagaan ng mga manonood ang kanyang loob sa pamamagitan ng malakas na palakpakan.

Nakakatuwang malaman na marami pa rin sa mga mang-aawit natin ngayon ang marunong kumanta gamit ang puso. Mabuhay kayo!

Sa bawat tema ng mga musika’t himig parang nililipad ako sa iba’t ibang isla habang may nakikilala akong mga karakter na sumisimbolo sa damdamin ng mang-aawit. Sa bawat pagkanta, o kahit sa simpleng pakikinig ng kanilang mga musika nagagawang dalhin ang isipan ko sa iba’t-ibang lugar ng imahinasyon. Normal pa ba ito? Haha! Normal man o hindi, para sa akin nangangahulugan lamang ito na kaya ko pang makinig at kumilala ng damdaming nakakabit sa letra at tono.

Bawat kanta ay masarap sa tenga, magaan sa pakiramdam. May puso ang musika at may musika ang puso. 

Day 14. Marsheemon

Dahil naniniwala akong may magandang idudulot ang ebolusyon ng mga salita, gaya ng paglabasan ng mga jejemons, bekimons at conyo tungo sa ikauunlad ng mundo.

Sa sarili kong diksyunaryo may kinikilala akong grupo ng mga letra na kahit papaano ay may hatid na kwela at kabuluhan. Hango ito sa pinaghalong kabaliwan naming ni Mya at ang hatid na misteryo ng LRT 2.

Ma.map - Maging Mapaya

I.H.Y.M. – I hate you Monday!

A.T.E.N.E.O. – Bisitahin niyo naman ako dito please!

F.K.T.N. – Funny/Freak ka talaga Nikki

F.Y.F. – Hahahaha!

A.B.M. T. – Ang boring mo talaga!

S.Y.A. – See you around

S.L.S.L. – Sige lang, sulat lang

T.T. – Paboritong salita ni Mya, “Tatakbo tayo?”

B.U.S.Y. -  Salitang tanging si Taba lang ang may alam. Siya lang.

T.O.N.I. – Mahal ko. Hahaha! Walang kokontra!

E.K.S. – Ewan ko sa’yo

T.U.N.T – Tara, uwi na tayo.

Marami pang susunod…

Subukan niyo ring basahin ang kay MYAngligaw: mrtLRT

Ulan

Hindi na kailangan magbitaw ng salita

Ano mang tumatakbo sa isipan
Pinamigay na yun ng ating mga mata
Dinggin ang paanyayang sumayaw sa aking kama

Sa saliw ng ulan. (Ulan, Johnoy Danao)

ULAN HD from johnoy danao on Vimeo.